It has been five years ago, today, that we said goodbye to our Carter. There is not a day that goes by that we do not think of him...that we do not miss him. However, we get so busy with life that we do not allow ourselves to dwell upon what we are missing. We just know that a part of our hearts are with him. Five years! Five years since I last held his little hands. Five years since we last kissed the bridge of that perfect nose. Five years since I held heaven. I miss you, Carter. I do not allow myself to wonder anymore what things would have been like if you were still here. That is not our reality and it does not do anyone any good to think about the what if's. (Though they do still creep in. Hey...I am the mom!). But even though I do not wonder what things would of been like, it does not mean that I do not wish it were so. I wish more than anything, that you were still here.